From: Fredward Prinze
To: Vincent Kennedy McMahon
CC: Stephanie Kennedy McMahon
Subject: New character idea!!!
When acting Raw General Manager Stephanie McMahon overhears members of her roster complaining about a "pain in the ass" she consults Dr. Heinie who recommends she bring Scotty Goldman over from SmackDown (or is it ECW? Wait, he's not on Raw already, is he?).
Unbeknownst to the WWE Universe, Scotty Goldman was a proctologist before entering the world of sports entertainment. He actually comes from a long line of proctologists. His father was a proctologist, his father's father was a proctologist, his father's father's father was a proctologist, so forth, and so on.
Dr. Goldman should make his Raw debut in a backstage skit with Jillian Hall. After she takes a hard fall during a match she'll go backstage looking for the trainer but run into Dr. Goldman who'll offer to examine her. After his examination, he'll tell her the prognosis is grim and knowing she likes music he'll break the bad news to her in song, "♫ You've got no ass, dun duh dun dun dun, No ass at all, is what you've got! ♫" (***)
Finishing move: Butt Butt
Theme song: "Crank It Up" by Jimmy Hart (Betcha thought I was gonna say "Ass Man" didn't ya?)
If there's anything I've learned from the numerous DX reunions, it's that kids like shirts with the butts on them so lots of butt based merchandise for Dr. Scott E. Goldman.
Oh, and for a character twist to be revealed later, his deepest darkest secret is he's really a breast man.
Love,
Freddie
XOXO
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